AARP Letter, Selected Paragraphs

Today we got a belated Christmas present from the AARP.  A “home warranty” company called TotalProtect.com has apparently paid for a five year membership for the two of us.  The full letter is below with the relevant paragraphs above.

The AARP is the American Association of Retired Persons.  At least that’s what it used to be.  Today it is just AARP, Inc.  I was a member back when I turned 50.  (That used to be the minimum age for membership.  Today my guess is that they’ll take anyone.)

There are two reasons for this article, both related to economics.  First, AARP has cut their price to zero.  That suggests that organizations like the Association of Mature American Citizens are cutting into AARP’s membership.  (For those who have been living on Mars for the last half century, the AARP has never met a federal government program that it didn’t like — including Obamacare.)  Second, AARP is desperate to boost their membership rolls.

I suggest we help them.  Now that you know this offer is available, take advantage of it.  Call AARP and demand your free membership.  The phone number in the letter is 800.516.2762.