Facebook IPO redux: Henry Blodget would like a word with us about what actually went on. In summary, Mr. Blodget contends that Facebook officers went to the investment bankers during the week before the IPO and delivered a bit of news. Facebook’s quarterly results were not going to make the numbers. Not even close. The investment bankers whispered this information to their best friends. Another story on the Wall Street Journal website (most likely in the May 23 issue) says the NASDAQ glitch during the opening of Facebook trading was caused by — get this — a huge number of order cancellations arriving at the opening. Gee, I wonder why all those sophisticated investors suddenly decided they didn’t want a piece of Facebook after all? Oh, wait, I’ve got a pretty good idea. ($1 to Marty Feldman, go watch Young Frankenstein, you can’t possibly see it too many times.)
I’ve written in the past about Martha Stewart and her six month sentence for a paltry $122,400. (Yes, we know, it was lying to prosecutors that got her in trouble. Sure. And the moon really is made of green cheese.) At that time I concluded that, based on the Stewart standard, Bernie Madoff should serve a sentence of 122,549.02 years. I leave it to my readers to do the calculations to determine the appropriate sentences for the Facebook soon-to-be felons.